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The Critic Returns way late
Posted By machievelli - 08/24/14
Had an uneven two weeks. Last week I was just getting over a serious hacking cough (Later found it was pneumonia) when my new computer began doing some seriously odd crap. Using the left shift key caused a tone when depressed, and I couldn't use parenthesis because the begin key would not work. Right shift key worked, but still. Then it began forcing me to reboot pretty much every day. So last Tuesday I had to send it to the manufacturer for work.

Then on Wednesday I had a chicken bone caught in my throat; not choking, but having trouble breathing. Picture the scene where Vader is choking the loud mouth. Now picture the man trying to call his office and tell them he might not be in the next day. After waiting from around 7:30 until 11:30 the next day for someone to actually use an endoscope to say, 'hey, you know you got a piece of bone stuck in there?', they finally removed it.

Why did I say uneven? There is one guy I chat with constantly; an ex Air Force medic, and he said that the only reason I was still alive was because I smoke. That's right, smoking does do one thing for you. If I were one of those stuck up 'smoking is bad for you' types, I would have ended up in surgery with god alone knows how many days of work missed because my throat would have clamped down.

Then again, if I had to do it again...

Well that explains why I am way late, so let's get this show on the road.

We start our picks of the week with a Revan that can't seem to find a reason to even care in Sara1281's So Not My Problem followed by the Exile getting even with Atton tickling her with Mishamishamisha's Ticklish? then Princess Ashira having the Exile stranded on a plant where no one understands her and about to be executed in A Silent Awakening

But Best went to a scene right out of my old Dungeon Master's days with Kebiin's Jag ti naysol kad aue

Well first rule, since I do my own cooking. Bite down to find the bone before you swallow. Signing off...
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The Critic returns a little bit late
Posted By machievelli - 08/12/14
Running way late. I have a flu that is more like a miasma, affecting me from the moment I get up until I go to bed. Every time I got home, and should have turned to finishing this review, I found myself waking up the next morning, instead. I am sorry, and I will be seeing a doctor about this. I hate having anything interfere with my life!

This week we had two picks, but neither was best. They are Val Perham with Url=]Full Of Grace[/url]and Chapellefan withMira's Last Job.

Now getting my cranky ass out of bed to do what I must. Signing off...
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critic returns
Posted By machievelli - 08/03/14
Been slacking on one story, and going balls to the wall on another. The second has by my estimate almost 60,000 words, but only about 25,000 have been posted. But I will not leave that one story to go fallow. No siree!

So first the reviews...

We start with the amusing story from Mike the Syrjirk with The Time Schedule
followed by the reason Revan fell the second time with trueromantic333's The Second Fall of Darth Revan Then a war weary Revan in Noxae's Last Stand

But Best went to a revan intent on getting her memory back, regardless of cost with Naamah Beherit's Something Dark is Coming

So break time is over, Back on my head! Signing off...
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The Critic returns a little bit late
Posted By machievelli - 07/29/14
For those who didn't notice, I am now 61 as of the 25th. Running late again, as if that is a big surprise. I have so many irons in the fire, I can't even see the fire any more. One of those is my problem neighbor I call Mumbles. I know it's insulting, but she talks like the character Mumbles from the old Dick Tracy movie. If you don't understand what I mean, Google Mumbles dick Tracy. And if you show her any courtesy she is like a lamprey latching onto you because now she believes you like her.

Working on count them, seven different stories simultaneously, and the newest, the Batman-Joker one has pulled into the lead because my coauthor and I fall into the roles so well. Having him do Penguin over the phone was a hoot! He does the supercilious voice so well...

But on to the reviews!

We start the week with Atton losing to the one member of the party he hates the most in Dessmond Williams' Calculating Odds and a pair of Exiles in Shadows Of The Storm's Choices for the Right Reasons

But best of the week is a series of one shots about relationships from Prisoner 24601 with Trial by Fire

So much time, so little to do. Wait a minute...
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The Critic returns
Posted By machievelli - 07/21/14
Been having one of those weeks. Began a new Batman-Joker bit about two weeks ago, and the juices are flowing. When Harley notices Joker's pacing as he thinks, think of a soon to be 61 year old man (Yeah, your critic before the weekend) with ideas fizzing like an Alka-Seltzer, and trying to walk and chew gum at the same time. But the chewing gum part, that is doing this review is fine; as long as I don't actually have to do it...

But on to the reviews!

We start with Elriel Xillow-Onasi who scores twice, one with Parallel Bars followed by KyaniteD with Heart of the Guardian then Renee Enderson with Double Whammy and Avatar 101's Kotor Changed ending with TheJediSentinel's wedding build up in The Runup

But best went to a tie of all people Canderous as a lovelorn columnist in Elriel Xillow-Onasi's Canderous Cares and Flooj9235 with The Morning After

So back to Joker and Harley! Signing off...
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The Critic returns; hey wait, I'm Early?
Posted By machievelli - 07/12/14
Spend a lot of time with an old friend, though thanks to work as part of it, not as much as I liked. The biggest problem with living in the World's largest petting zoo is you don't see a lot of it or it's 'been there, and done that'. But walking the Freemont Experience for the first time in about six years, I stil think it's a fun place sometimes.

Been burning the candle at both ends to finish my column too, but here it is!

We start with Simonsaysfunction Jedi Don't Brood followed by LadyArin with Guardian Angel

But best was Mike Canary with Another Story

Working on a Batman-Joker fan fic. Take a wild guess who gets to be Joker? Signing off...
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The Critic returns a week late
Posted By machievelli - 07/07/14
Murphy's law has struck again. Two weeks ago it was a new computer and getting everything put on it 'just right'. Now a friend I haven't seen in five years will be in town starting Thursday, and will be here during my 'write your damn column' time. So I maybe doing this again week after next!

So before I get even further behind...

We start off with TheJediSentinel scoring twice with Meet the Parent and Living the Code followed by Mister Buch and Vibroblades and Mirrors Then Cavalyn gives us The Last Crusade and
Prisoner 24601 with Contingency Plans finishing with A Pleasant Reader's Harmony

But Best of the Week went to Shadows Of The Storm for What's In A Name

Well I'll hoist a pint in friendship, and see you next week!
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The Critic Returns
Posted By machievelli - 06/23/14
Running late because my co-author over at Fanfiction suggested writing a Batman/Joker fan fic, and my mind has been working on scenes, a lot of them comedic featuring Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman. Honestly, picture Harley as the head of HR working for the Joker. When she fires someone, she does it with a gun...

But enough about me. On to the reviews!

We start with Candle in the Night's KOTOR: Return From Darkness followed by Neroarm with Knights of the Old Republic: Return of Revan then Wyl with The Demon Moon

But best went to Matthew Summers for Knight

Well, back to the stories!
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The Critic Returns
Posted By machievelli - 06/16/14
My eye problems are starting to clear up. It seems I had too much internal pressure in the right eye, and the eye drops meant to reduce the infection was increasing the pressure, causing more problems. But after almost a week the pressure is back to normal, and the infection is reduced as well. Hopefully by this time next week it will have cleared up completely.

Lord Grise and I are a bit hung up because one section coming up is just not flowing. He's back up and running as of today, so no worries. But for those of you following our work over at fan fiction, we'll get it done.

But enough about RL. On with the reviews!

We start with Kyria Nyriese and Revan followed by CalliopeCalling's The Queen's Advisor
flooj9235 is back again with Oops Huoriel with the only story that I have favorited in years with The Failure of a Jediand Replica Velocity a.k.a. X5 714 with It's a Terrible Thing To Fall

But the Best this week went to FireflyEmbers for Star Wars: Tales of the Vigilant

Well thanks to our best, I have a short 'will it be continued?' fic to write. Signing off...
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The Critic Returns way late
Posted By machievelli - 06/09/14
Problems plagued me this last week. Three of the reviews I had to write were for people who didn't break their work into bite sized chunks. Try one at around 10,000 words, another with over 20,000, and the last at over 43,000. That last one is just a few thousand short of novel length! Then my eye infection has not gone away completely, and I will be seeing a specialist tomorrow morning for that. Then the network card in my co-author over at fanfiction bit the big one, and no word yet on how quickly he will be up and running.

But as they used to say on the old Mighty Mouse Cartoons, I saw my duty, and I do-ed it!

Pickings were scarce this week. We have two picks, but neither was what I would call best. We start with Wakkomonkey9258's Crushed and Pained and end with Revan's proposal to Bastila in the midst of a really bad day with Untitledmind's Just One of Those Days

With Craig's computer down I can fill in with some scenes I liked writing and hope we can network again real soon.

Signing off...
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The Critic Returns
Posted By machievelli - 06/03/14
Decided to go for my shorter works first on Kindle. Having a time finding clipart for covers. I have three stories already to go, but without covers it won't do me any good. My reasoning is simple, if people like it, maybe they will like my longer works.

And as Ash said in Army of Darkness, Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot. Well on to the reviews.

Some good stuff for you, we start off with flooj9235 and Reaction Followed by Marianne Bennet with The Attempted Taming of the Jedi

But best of the week is a tie with MsFicWriter's AU: KOTOR III: THE PULSE: Pain in my Brain and JediTears09 with I Think I Love You, or Maybe It's Plyridian Fever

Well back to my search...
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